AMMA

To those asking why I chose THIS to start with,it is the usual search for something nice to write about ending in blank emptiness and suddenly something among the daily happenings giving an idea. Today the usual 9 45am alarm like "Good morning Aarthi. Lets pray things go well" message DIDN'T come!Quite unlike her I must say. This set me on a little "think trip".

THE IMAGE OF A TYPICAL MOM- about 30 years back.

.........saree clad,more than average built,long plaited hair,with generous kumkum on forehead,moderately educated wrt academics but very well knowlegdeable and trained in HOME SCIENCE; a woman who worshipped family and believed that she must selflessly give her best to her children(-making each one's favourite dish without compromising anybody can sometimes be her biggest target),someone who was happy to be at home all day and be there FOR and WITH others once they returned home from school or work, a person who loved SERVING others-someone who could with a smile cook for hundred people and expect nothing in return. She would not understand half of what her children told about their academics or work,but would still be an intent listener. To her,her child getting a 99 percentile in CAT and getting a first rank in school doesnt make a big difference. She would just laud her child's achievements and gloat the success by making his/her favourite food!!She would get worried sick if her child is a bit late and would wait for hours to hear the voice of a child abroad on a short ISD call! She was simple yet powerful in the sense of emotional dependence the entire family had on her.

THE IMAGE OF A TYPICAL MOM- ten years from now.

...........clad in a simple jeans,shirt,slim built,medium loose hair,very well academically educated,financially sound and bloody INTERNET crazy for everything!!(google searches ranging from "HOW TO MAKE PASTAS " to "HOW TO CHANGE BABY NAPPIES");Not really SELFLESS when it comes to family!(she does care about herself too...If you do think right,NOT SELFLESS != SELFISH),is more ready to give varied exposures to the child including cultivating a lot more independence and self sufficiency,is capable of giving a lot more academic and career guidance,is lot more like a peer to the child(with playstations and cricket) during and after adolescence (smsing and chatting included!). She is a powerful woman in her own sense.

Now now don't get all worked up dear supporters of either kinds!!I am NOT TRYING TO ARGUE here that one is better over the other. Both kinds have their own virtues and vices. According to me,it is not right to dismiss the first kind as "not very knowledgeable" or the second type as "not caring".What makes you what you are is the choices you make and that in turn will depend on the exposures you've had. "Being a mom" is independent of Space and Time--only the HOW differs,and it has to!!

To all future moms reading this,

Make the right choices that will suit you. (Do whatever you think will give you happiness--don't sit at office all day thinking of your kid at home. You'd be better off to resign and sit at home.And don't try being a housewife for a kid thinking of the career you so meticulously built and lost. Its unfair in both cases).

To all bachelors hoping to be future dads,

Choose the right kind of woman you want. As the saying goes,its stupid of you if you expect a coconut from a mango tree.

And finally,everybody reading this,whatever kind your mom is,be thankful. :)

P S : The typical mom images are based on the majority present in urban areas. It could be different elsewhere. And not every mom can be categorised purely under either on the 2 kinds.